She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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