Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
