ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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