brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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