so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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