too bad you live with your parents still
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
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