You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
