You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
