She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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