Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
