Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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