Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
