I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
