he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
