i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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