talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Randomize
