But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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