Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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