And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize