first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
