Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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