Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i came on her dog
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
