I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
