so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize