i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
