omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
