i just wanna soil my oats bro
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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