I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize