There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
