dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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