All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
