just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
