Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
