I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
