Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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