You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
