I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize