never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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