He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
