I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
