Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
