i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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