what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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