i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
