youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
