Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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