If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
