I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
