PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
