he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
