i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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