I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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