Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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