I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
