I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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