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we have officially lost it.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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