I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
