We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
