My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
