id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
