you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
