fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
